Life’s Messy

In retirement, you have the time to see the messes you missed while rushing from task to task while working. While socially-isolated AND retired there is nowhere to hide from the messes that you see. Historically, I identified with Bissell’s advertising slogan: “Life’s messy; clean it up.” I like things short and to the point: Life’s messy! Clean it up!!

A few weeks ago, I was doing my morning journaling (it’s supposed to be “stream-of-consciousness”) and on the topic of pandemic I wrote: alone – burden – long-lasting – odd – sad – selfishness – sick – strange (my consciousness streams alphabetically). Messy is missing. This is good. Even people who aren’t retired, but are working from home, are confronted with the messes in their front yards, and they’re cleaning them up. Thank you! Our local water authority recently alerted residents to be mindful of their water use. They felt that people were cleaning more while spending more time at home and therefore water usage was up (uh oh, the dark cloud inside the silver lining).

I just learned that a dear friend who has been battling pancreatic cancer, has decided to stop fighting. Life’s messy. Sadly, mess-equality is missing here. My friend worked so diligently to clean up the cancer mess. She IS a fighter. She’s fought so much harder than I would have. I want there to be a cancer vacuum, that just cleans that cancer mess right up. But there’s not. My mess-response mechanism is very limited. It tends to short-out when confronted with messes not related to my immediate environment.

I’m at a loss when facing loss. I want life to be neat and clean; fair and fare; just and right; long and happy. MC worked as a nurse up until her cancer diagnosis, and had planned to return to work as soon as she beat the cancer. Today, I feel like the absence of “fair” that accompanies a cancer diagnosis is ALL MESSED UP. I’m even kind-of angry with Alex Trebek. I think MC has every right, and it would only be right, for her to be beating pancreatic cancer, too! I don’t want Alex to be more ill; I just want MC to be more well.

I wonder, world-wide, how many people will die today? How many will die today from accidents, illness, and violence. So many families will be in pain and I won’t have a clue as to their suffering. While working, I thought there should be a “time bank.” Employees who had extra time on their hands would deposit time in the way of help to employees who had too much to get done on their own. Later employees who had deposited time could withdraw “time” help when needed. I made this suggestion to the folks at the top, and was told that it would never work. Today, I wish that there was a “compassion and support bank.” We could deposit help for others when times are good and withdraw help when life is messy.

Life’s messy. Please, help those in need. We’re still experiencing a pandemic. Some are fighting cancer and experiencing a pandemic. Some are destitute and experiencing a pandemic. Today, words aren’t working; “clean it up” isn’t cutting it. I’ve got to DO more.

None of us is getting out of here alive. Let’s do all we can to ensure that our friends and family get out of here WELL LOVED!