Is It A Lie?

I was looking through cards I was given when I retired, and read one well-wisher’s note: “Good luck with the book.” Uh oh. I told ALL of my co-workers (who would listen) that I was going to write a book WHEN I retired. I didn’t say that I was going to write a book WHILE retired; I said I was going to write a book WHEN I retired. As of today, three seasons of retirement down, there is no book. I don’t know if it is a result of bad book writing self-discipline, a failure to keep a commitment, or a flat-out lie on my part.

I think about writing it. I have an idea, but I lack the follow-through. Retirement has robbed me of the book-writing enthusiasm that I readily professed while still working. I’m no longer enthused about cleaning out cupboards either (another retirement activity commitment I had made while working).

I’m confused (at least this is one thing that I’ve engaged in with reliable consistency both while working and while retired). Does only an intentional misrepresentation of the truth constitute a lie; or, is the failure to follow-through on a commitment also a lie?

I’m not only confused, I’m old. Where’s all of that wisdom that is touted as being a product of many years of living? Is it a lie? When I was young (I remember I was young once), I would feel guilty about not spending time with my kids when I was working, and I would feel guilty about not working more, when I was spending time with my kids. My greatest talent is feeling guilty.

Maybe I should write a book, entitled “I Feel Guilty When…” The subtitle could be “When I’m Awake, Dreaming, and All Other Times That I Am Breathing.” Of course, I’ll never get around to writing it, and then I’ll feel guilty.