“Hello Walls”

That Willie Nelson; he’s quite the soothsayer. When Willie wrote that song, around sixty years ago, I wonder if he imagined it would be the theme song of 2020. I think that we’ve all become intimately familiar with our walls over the past five months. Writing “five months” I think, that can’t be right; surely it’s been fifty-five months, at least. Today I read a blurb about a man whose closest friends, currently, are household appliances. The so-called “COVID 15” is testimony to the close friendship many of us are having with our refrigerators. I LOVE my refrigerator so much more than I love my walls. I wish I could say that it isn’t just for the material things my refrigerator has to offer – but it is.

My refrigerator contains Greek yogurt: the new sour cream. My refrigerator contains grapefruit juice which tastes pretty good with its fellow refrigerator inhabitant, tonic water. Just a few steps to another good friend of mine, the liquor cabinet, and I can get a little tequila to add to that grapefruit juice and tonic water that my good friend the refrigerator was taking care of for me. My walls are tan… They hold me in (like they’re supposed to). It’s difficult to thank my walls for this. I have a little refrigerator in my garage (thank you friend Linda).

My little garage refrigerator contains water, soda and light beer with lime juice. I like my little refrigerator too. My little refrigerator gives me light beer with lime juice to which I add Margarita mix from the big refrigerator in my house, and a splash of tequila from my liquor cabinet. I call it a beerita. Drinking a beerita softens my heart and then I’m not so hard on my (tan) walls. I try (not always successfully, because I don’t want my refrigerators to feel neglected) to only have a drink containing alcohol on Friday through Sunday, and to only have one. I’m much nicer to my walls on Friday through Sunday. I even talk to them: “Hello walls.”

Sometimes I put on a mask and leave my house (goodbye walls). I drive to the grocery store and buy light beer with lime and other things to put in my beloved refrigerators. Then I drive home, take off my mask (it scares my cat, Cinnamon), and fill the refrigerators. Things are really hoppin’ in my life right now – well at least Cinnamon is when she sees me in my mask.

Hello walls; where’s the refrigerator?