Average Is Okay

When I was young, I bemoaned my consistent state of “average.” I was average height, average weight, average intelligence… I have continued that trend into adulthood. I believe it is in keeping with the “Law of Averages.” There is an actual formula for the “Law of Averages” but being of average intelligence, I don’t understand it. What do the exclamation points mean? Are they emphasizing just how average average is?

Is average just a synonym for mediocre? Why yes it is (I Googled it). From my vantage point of mediocre intelligence, I interpret the “Law of Averages” as follows: If I draw a card from the deck of 100% average cards, whatever I draw will be average. If I draw a card from the deck, where one exceptional card has replaced one of the average cards, I have a one in fifty-two chance of drawing an exceptional card. However, if I factor in my luck (I have below average luck), I can, one-by-one, draw each card and still only draw average cards (where does that factor into their binomial formula – is it the exclamation point?).

As a retiree, I think back on my working days (as infrequently as possible) and remember how “average” impacted the workplace. It frequently became a quantitative issue: are you more or less average than the person working next to you? I even suspected that some (not all) of my higher-ups surrounded themselves with mediocre employees in order to appear less mediocre. Proof of my state of mediocrity and/or averageness. I compensated by working very, very

Here’s the twist; average is okay (not great or horrible, but definitely okay). Somehow, I’ve been shuffled into a deck of INCREDIBLE friends (incredible people are very tolerant of the average – it’s part of what makes them incredible). Somehow, I gave birth to incredible children (I think this one does challenge the “Law of Averages”). I can’t say that the source of my state of average is my gene pool, because my family is full of people of incredible beauty and intelligence (my children, Zach and Jess; my siblings John and Pam; my cousins Ruth, Helen and Candy). It’s a mystery.

Average comes with certain perks. I don’t have to put on make-up, because I know that it is not going to alter my average appearance. In fact, by not attempting to make things look better, I have a great excuse for my average appearance. See, average is okay.

Let’s apply some circular logic (the logic most employed by those of average intelligence) to the “Average is Okay” theory. This year, 2020, has not been average. This year, 2020, has been a bad year; therefore, things that aren’t average are bad, so things that are average are okay. You can’t argue with that (well you can, but people of average intelligence won’t believe you).

I will continue to swim in the pool of average. It’s not too hot. It’s not too cold. It’s okay. Life is good.