November 30th, 2018 I officially retired. Since then, I have questioned my qualifications for the position of Retiree. For the past 40+ years, my activities have been largely driven by job position descriptions (sometimes driven off of a cliff in my fiery vehicle at hand – obsessive compulsive disorder). I really need to find the Retiree Position Description. My attempt to create my own has sent me flailing about my house emptying drawers, painting, scraping out aged grout, all while draped in skeins of yarn in the process of being crocheted into afghans. I really need this whole thing quantified and set out in bullet points, something like:
- Clean and organize one drawer per week
- Paint one room per month (until all rooms painted and then remove from list, to be reinserted in 15 years – if I’m still living)
- Major home repair activity (usually to involve grout – i.e., removing, inserting, cleaning) to be ongoing
- Crochet one afghan a month (until forbidden to do so by potential afghan recipients)
- Increase the following daily – physical activity, meditation, mental productivity (at first I had mental activity followed by meditation, but I thought those two might be mutually exclusive, so I changed “activity” to “productivity”), happiness
- Decrease the following daily – food intake, spending, television watching, emotionally-charged activities, i.e., crying, teeth gnashing
I’m not sure if these are approved retiree functions/activities or not. Where does fun fit in here? Decreasing spending, may limit opportunities for fun, so to be on the safe side, I’ve left it out.
Thank you for your willingness to share in my journey through retirement.
4 thoughts on “Qualified for Retirement?”
This is hilarious
HAH! Great advice! Hope I can follow it when/if I EVER retire 🙂
Nice Job! Cute shirt.
I insist that FUN remain as an integral component of your days. I agree that spending money can definitely aid in said cultivation of fun; however, it’s not entirely necessary. Take a leisurely hike (Zach could definitely recommend trails for you to explore), join up with groups at the library (Itch To Stitch, book clubs, Much Ado About Knitting, etc), hit up the Alibi calendar for free events to peruse. There’s always something free (and fun) to do!