Retirement Business Rules

After one day of trying to execute my Retirement Position Description, I realized I needed some business rules. This morning, while trying to simultaneously increase exercise, while decreasing food intake, I nearly passed out. We don’t always realize correlations between one thing and another. For instance (you better believe I’m going to sneak grandchildren stories in here), a few weeks ago my family gathered at my house for a birthday party. We had a sundae bar, complete with ice cream, and toppings, including aerosol whipped cream.  I suggested that an adult be in the room while the kids were fixing their sundaes, and my daughter-in-law said that she thought the kids were all old enough to fix sundaes unsupervised.  Grandson Owen added, “Wow, and I haven’t even seen the puberty video yet.”  Up until that moment, I would not have considered the possibility of a correlation between puberty-facts awareness and sundae-preparation supervision requirements. Thanks to Owen’s keen sense of observation, that possibility has been disavowed.

Okay, back to possible Retirement Business Rules. I was reminded by my wonderful friends that fun is a requirement of retirement so business rules will address adding fun. Proposed business rules follow (numbered, but not necessarily in order of importance):

  1. Decreasing food intake and increasing exercise are to be coordinated, while retaining the option of temporarily (in the interest of fun) suspending either one.
  2. To facilitate decreasing spending, a spending fast is to be observed every-other- day (EOD), except when limiting the ability to have fun (this can, however, be used to facilitate decreased food intake and home repair projects – specifically the purchase of grout and/or paint).
  3. To further facilitate decreasing spending, no additional yarn is to be purchased, until all currently-owned yarn is used (sadly, as I currently own a large amount of yarn, this will not prevent my family from running the other way, whenever I approach them with a newly-made-from-yarn item, but chasing after them with the newly-made-from-yarn item will assist in my requirement to increase exercise). This rule may also be applied to fabric, beads, and all other craft materials currently owned.
  4. Drawer cleaning is to be conducted before purchasing (on non-spending-fast days) any office-type supplies.
  5. Television watching may be used as a spending diversion when weather (snow, rain, wind) limits ability to exercise and/or perform home repair activities; however, purchase of streaming television services is to be limited and executed only on non-spending fast days.
  6. Television watching is to be interrupted at least hourly to get up and walk at least 250 steps (when doing this in a circular motion in home, duck when walking in front of windows, so as not to cause the neighbors concern as to sanity, or further embarrassment to family members).

I’m sure there will be a need for additional retirement business rules as I continue the retiree journey, and I think I am going to have to examine each rule IN DETAIL (sorry) in later posts.

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