I Wonder…

I was eating a bowl of cereal this morning, staring at the free McDonalds-provided 3-d Lego Movie juice cup that held my grapefruit juice. I was trying to determine the secret identity of “Lord Business.” By shifting the cup to just the right angle, I revealed that “Lord Business” is also “President Business!” I will not expound upon the freakishly prophetic content of the 2014 “Lego Movie” here, because I promised my son-in-law that I wouldn’t use this as a political forum. It did make me realize that retirement has provided me with more time for reflection and contemplation.

The things I contemplate are, sadly, not lofty ideals, but rather an indication, that I probably watched way too much TV in my rare free-time while working. As I was contemplating what I want to be while retired, the Toys-R-Us jingle, “I want to be a Toys-R-Us kid” kept running through my head, and I wondered, now that Toys-R-Us is closed, are all of those Toys-R-Us kids orphans? Commercialism has not only taken over Christmas and Easter, but also my thought processes.

In the spirit of repurposing, I used an old blanket on my couch as a prophylaxis to spills and the day-to-day wear of exposure to my spouse, grandchildren, and me. I wondered if the blanket was now acting as a kind-of couch condom. It would be a kinder, gentler couch condom (if less effective) than the clear vinyl couch covers of old, but you wouldn’t stick to it during hot weather, unless you spilled something, and you sat there long enough for it to dry and adhere to exposed skin. It’s this kind of earth changing thing that I wonder about in my now increasingly available free time thanks to retirement.

I wonder about avoidance behavior. I was wondering why I settled on Friday as my blog writing day. When I retired, I decided that I didn’t have to clean house on Saturday any more, and that I could make the bold move of choosing to clean house on FRIDAY. Sadly, I soon realized that cleaning house on Friday, is no more fun than cleaning house on Saturday. I wonder if the avoidance behavior that plagued me while working (I would tell myself that I would be better able to prepare my program budget if my desk drawer was clean and organized) has followed me into retirement (I tell myself that I will be more energized to clean house once I’ve spent an hour or two writing; except when I tell myself that I’ll be more inspired to write once I’ve spent two to four hours cleaning house)?

I wonder if I’m qualified for the position of retiree.

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